Return to You
by Longclaw 1-6
Summary: In the blink of an eye he was gone. Olivia had no clue to his whereabouts. She tries to hate him for this, then hates herself for being unable to. One winter night in New York City Olivia Benson's past returns. But the question still remains, where is he? What happened? Why didn't he come back to her? Short Story. EO, set during Season 15.
1. Chapter 1: Rescue

**A/N: Hey everyone. I know I know. I still have Prey and From the Ashes to write but this idea just wouldn't quit bugging me till I got it written.**

 **There's been a new batch of Elliot returns fics coming out and it made me wonder. Despite my insistence that the whole leaving thing was OOC and everything WL did is illegitimate, what could make Elliot Stabler leave like that?**

 **After some thinking I finally came up with something that can draw on not only what I know about the characters but also from the research I have done for my War on Terror novel. This is EO trust me, not a war thriller but please bear with me in this first chapter. It is vital to set the scene.**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoy my short little story (five chapters or so). EO as always. It is set right before and during the episode "Amaro's One-Eighty." After Lewis but before Noah.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **This story is for my good friends: TessiLovesSVU, Stabson, Srhittson, and Daquasia-Ann-Smith.**

 **Enjoy and review.**

 **Return to You**

 **A story by the Congressman**

Chapter 1: Rescue

 _Click. Groan._

There it was, the dreaded two noises. He knew what came after, the two possibilities that could result. Each was worse in its own unique way, and the prisoner couldn't even now choose which affected him more.

The cell – he doubted the hollowed out rock cavern with a doorway blasted in could even be called a cell – was larger than a solitary confinement room at Rikers or Sing Sing. It was the basic square footage, more or less, of the interrogation rooms at the 1-6. He had standing room, though not by much. His captors and the people usually imprisoned here were much shorter, his six foot-plus frame a head taller than most of them.

Other than that though good fortune ceased to exist. A threadbare _shalwar kameez_ , battered sandals, and filthy wool blanket were the only articles of clothing he possessed on the cold nights. A wooden cup and spoon nestled next to the heap of hay that was his bedding. Humble circumstances indeed, but he would have lived every single day of his life in this to avoid what was coming his way.

A once imposing man, the shrunken husk took an involuntary step back as low firelight entered the dark cell. His lids closed shut, blocking out the tendrils until his eyes adjusted. Hanging a lantern on the hook right next to the door, his captor shut it with a small smile on his lips. He was alone, curved knife clipped to his belt. 'So it'll be mental then.'

It had happened long enough over the last two years – 'Has it been two years?' – to become routine. When entering with another, wooden rods in their hands, it would be physical. Alone, a knife for protection. Mental torture. He could handle most forms of mental torture. It was true, he trained for this.

But his captor was smart. He had discovered his prisoner's greatest weakness and delighted in using it.

"Greetings Stabler," he said in his educated English, accent clearly picked up in the British Iles. "Another wonderful day as my guest has passed. What has it been? Twenty-three, twenty-four months."

Elliot Stabler didn't respond. His captor's name was Muhammad, a common name for friend and foe alike in this part of the world. Most he had come to know were decent people, but this one? 'Sadistic bastard.' He wasn't going to give the fuck anything. Even in his hobbled, starved, scarred state he was still strong. He would tough it out. For her.

Something his captor easily picked up on. "Hoping to return I see." He chuckled, stroking his thick, black beard. "Still pining after Benson." Elliot felt a pang of unbearable pain hit him, though he tried valiantly to hide it. Never had the mere mention of Olivia ceased to hurt him. 'Olivia, my Liv.' What he would give to see her beautiful face once more, hear her beautiful smile again, gaze into her chocolate brown eyes. He loved her, that love keeping him going through even the worst ordeals. "So noble and yet so pathetic. After your little escape attempt over the summer I thought you would've lost hope."

"Why not wish for the moon while you're at it," Elliot rasped out. "Or for a goat you could fuck." He could just hear Munch's snorting laugh.

If this had been a physical torture session Muhammad would've had his goon – Elliot hadn't bothered learning their names, instead naming them things like Gomer, Squidface, Gitano, Harris, White – strike him in the soles of his feet with the rod. Saddam Hussein's eldest son used to do that. 'Oh he'd be in great company here.'

Now though, his captor merely smiled. "I will break you one day Stabler. And when that day happens, _Inshallah_ , I will do what we discussed. Benson will finally get her closure."

It was then that a loud boom resonated through the doorway. The chatter of automatic weapons and panicked shouts filled the resulting silence. Muhammad swiveled around violently, making his way to the door.

What happened next was quick. With lightning reflexes he didn't know he had in him anymore, Elliot had pitched his entire mass into his captor. Muhammad slammed against the wall, the sickening crunch indicating his nose or skull had been broken. He pushed back hard, not forcing Elliot off but forcing him back, not before the weakened prisoner wrenched the knife from his belt.

Using whatever force he possessed Elliot plunged the blade between his captor's ribs. Blood spurted from the wound, knife impaling itself on the heart. Muhammad let out a surprised gasp, eyes bugging out as a moment's realization dawned over him before he slipped away.

Elliot let the lifeless body slump to the ground. 'Enjoy hell asshole.'

Legs giving out, Elliot collapsed onto the dusty cave floor, knife dropping from his hand. A loud thump smashed down the wooden door as two black-clad soldiers burst into the cell. Weak eyes took them in.

"Are you Stabler? Elliot Stabler?" one asked in a thick, Brooklyn accent. Elliot managed a nod. "Navy SEALs sir. We're here to get you out."

Being carried out of his prison for the last two years, Elliot only had one thought. 'Liv, I'm coming Liv.'

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

Excited babbles sputtered from the giggling baby in Kathleen Stabler's arms. "Ooooh, you are so cute. Yes you are Joshie, yes you are." Her little nephew dissolved in a fit of giggles, waving his little arms around in joy.

"You are so good with him," smiled Maureen Jacobs, her sister. "I wonder how long after the wedding it'll take for you to have one of your own sis."

Sputtering herself which the four month old Joshie found hilarious, Kathleen handed Maureen the baby. They were in Kathleen's apartment, the older girl dropping by from Pennsylvania for a visit – she was a junior ADA there. "Not for a little while Maur. Once Mark get's a posting here in the States then yes, but not now when he could be deployed any minute." There was silence for a moment, both girls letting the implication hang.

"True," Maureen finally said.

At that point the phone sitting on the kitchen counter began to ring. "I'll get it," Kathleen announced, even though it was her house. "Kathleen Stabler," she answered. The words coming through the receiver almost made her drop the phone.

"Katie?" Maureen asked. Joshie picked up on her aunt's tension, stilling in his mother's arms.

Kathleen turned to look at her older sister. "Get a message to the twins." Tears were forming in her eyes. "It's dad. They found him. He's coming home."

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

She was alone. It was a common occurrence these days, one she lamented but accepted. Why shouldn't she? Ever since her mother kicked her out of her apartment Olivia Benson had always been alone. 'What other way is there for me to live?' she thought.

The Detective – soon to be Sergeant – poured her third glass of wine, purple liquid sloshing into the wide rimmed flute. Olivia never wanted this; yes she grew to accept it as her general lifestyle but the brunette never wanted to remain alone her entire life. She wanted what all women did, a family, a child or children, a man who loved and cherished her. 'Is that too much to ask for?'

Apparently for the product of her mother's rape it was. Her want's and desires had warred with the person she was since the very beginning. Olivia was married to the job as her friends Alex Cabot or Casey Novak would've said. But Olivia Benson lived for her job, to be able and rescue and seek justice for victims like her or her mother. It didn't always work out for the best, and Lord knew how many of her cases ended in disaster, but she owed it to the innocents to try. Just… she wanted more and never quite seemed to get it.

Reaching for her phone, Olivia's face fell. No message from Brian. Brian Cassidy was the latest in her romantic life, a blast from the past with whom she decided to give it a go. Things were going well she thought; they were living together, he understood the job's demands being a former SVU detective himself, and he had been by her side during the Lewis Trial the month before… 'No, don't think about that sick freak Benson.' However…

'He just isn't him.' Olivia's fists clenched. No matter how hard she tried to let go, no matter how hard she hardened her heart and pushed to forget, Olivia Benson's mind always came back to that one man that haunted her dreams. "Elliot."

Olivia shot up from the couch, running a hand through her shoulder-length dark brown hair. Her heart was beating rapidly despite the alcohol in her bloodstream. 'Why am I like this?' Whenever her former partner, still her longest relationship with a man, entered Olivia's mind this happened. The tightness in her chest, the sweat beading on her forehead, the deep feeling of anguish from the pit of her stomach. 'How can he still get to me like this?'

Apartment quiet except for the heavy breathing of its denizen, Olivia paced back and forth, foot grinding into the soft carpet and leaving a deep indentation. "Why! Why did you do this to me Elliot!" she screamed into the empty apartment, voice reverberating off the bare walls. "Why did you leave me?" The last came out softer, less enraged. If one was present in the room it would've sounded ragged, pained, the low whimper of a defeated soldier.

Weakness, it had always been something that Olivia Benson avoided, hid from, fought against. Being a female detective in what was a difficult, strenuous job took its toll. Oftentimes suspects were hulking, two hundred plus bruisers, the time to reach for a gun or draw a taser not available to her. It wasn't just physical strength either, it was emotional. To look into a child's eyes, a child abused and mistreated so thoroughly as to possess no soul… Only the strongest, most indefatigable could handle that pain, that stress. Olivia was one of those people.

Until Elliot Stabler.

He had wormed his way into her heart, finally proven to her that she could be loved and cared for. And what had happened? He left, tossed her aside as if their twelve year partnership was nothing to him.

To be fair he had endured something terrible. Olivia remembered that day as if it were yesterday. The gunshots, lightning bolts snapping through the air. Jenna gunning down the perpetrators of her mother's murder, killing Sister Peg, her refusal to put down the gun… Elliot did the right thing. Every death was a tragedy but it was a good shoot. 'A good shoot damn it!' "So why did you leave El? Why did you leave me?"

Communication with him was spotty at best. There were a few messages, a note dropped off by Kathleen once when she came to collect Elliot's belongings – when she wasn't there of course – and one letter. A letter and contents that Olivia still kept. Her legs unthinkingly brought her to the cabinet, her personal drawer. Inside, buried beneath barely worn lingerie was a necklace. A gold necklace Elliot sent her. A finger brushed its gleaming surface, eyes reading the inscription stamped into the metal. _Semper Fi_ – always faithful.

Snarling, Olivia threw it back into the drawer. "Always faithful?" she screamed at the ceiling, as if channeling a message to her former partner through God. "Always faithful Elliot! What a load of bullshit!" The necklace was the last she ever heard from him. Six months of barely any communication had turned into nothing. Zip; zero; zada. Not one little note. Oh the laughs he must've been having over the last two years. Enjoying married life with Kathy while she was in pain, crying over him, picturing him during Lewis' torture. Olivia knew the Elliot that cared for her would've come for her, searching for her when she had been kidnapped. 'Foolish Benson. He doesn't care about you, never did.'

"Is this what you wanted Stabler?" she screamed once more, sobs wracking her voice. "To see me like this, weak? Broken? Shattered?" Olivia hated herself, hated what she had become. In the last two years all she wanted to do was to hate Elliot, to hate him with the white hot intensity equal to the pain he caused her by leaving. But. But…

'I can't.' And this was the true cause of all of Olivia Benson's pain. 'I love him.' She loved him. She loved Elliot Stabler, likely since they first met. His looks, his personality, his soul, she loved it all. Even now, after he had spent their entire partnership tearing her down and spitting her out when he was done.

No one knew about the necklace. Not Casey, not Alex, not Cragen, not Fin, and definitely not Brian. Time after time she had wanted to toss it, to throw it down a sewer drain as Elliot had done her. But she couldn't, she couldn't. Olivia just couldn't stop loving him.

Olivia collapsed onto the floor, face buried in her hands as she sobbed. "Damn you Elliot Stabler! Damn you!"

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

Haunted eyes stared at the apartment building. It was a step up from her last place, Elliot noted. There was a doorman, the sight warming him. Though he knew Olivia could easily take care of herself, learned from personal experience, but from what he went through and what he knew she went through… it was better to be safe than sorry.

"Dad?" Elliot shook off his haze and turned to his daughter. "Don't be so scared dad," Kathleen said with a small smile. "It's Olivia. She'll understand."

"What if she hates me?" The confidant detective was gone, replaced by a hollow, fearful shell of his former self. He could handle the horrors of the past two years but seeing Olivia, the woman he cared about more than his own life? "She probably does, and I don't blame her. What she must think…"

"How could she have known? Hell, we very nearly didn't." The blonde reached over and placed a hand on her father's knee. "Olivia cares about you as much as you do for her, I promise you. Look at what she's done for us over the years. For you, for mom and Eli, for me…" Kathleen trailed off, pointing to the apartment above. "Go dad. She deserves to know what happened either way. You'll never forgive yourself if you don't."

Elliot stared at his daughter. "You've really grown up Katie." He hugged her to him, tears falling from his eyes. So much he missed: Maureen's wedding and first child, the twins' acceptance to West Point, Eli's first day of school, Kathleen's engagement... "I'm so sorry, for everything."

"You have no need to apologize to me dad. Now go."

Nodding, Elliot kissed her forehead and exited the car. His heart was thumping in his chest. 'Olivia.'

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

Reaching into the cabinet, Olivia pulled down two bottles. Merlot for the girls and scotch for the boys. She had set them on the dining table when her cell phone buzzed on the counter. Sighing, Olivia glided across the carpet of her apartment and snatched it up. "Benson."

"Hey Liv," the voice on the other end came out.

"Hi Brian," she replied. "Where are you? The guests will be here soon." 'Please don't say yet again…'

To her – not unexpected – dismay it turned out to be the case. "Sorry babe. I can't make it."

"What do you mean you can't make it Bri?" she said into the phone, raising her voice. I've been planning this dinner for two weeks now! Cragen is retiring and I want to give him a proper sendoff."

"I'd make it if I could babe but you know how it is with the job."

Olivia sighed. "Yeah, I know. I guess I'll see you when I see you."

"Bye Liv."

"Bye." She hit the end button and tossed the phone on her coffee table. Every time she made plans Brian would end up bailing out at the last minute. Of course she understood the job, but if he really cared he would've found a way to make it work. 'As Elliot would've…" Olivia began to think before willing the thought away.

'No, not again.' The brunette detective wanted to have a nice night with her friends, not weep over a man who – face facts – must not have really cared that much about her or their time together. She was clean, dressed in the same purple dress from Munch's party, and ready to have some much needed fun.

A knock on the door drew her attention. Olivia's brows furrowed. 'Too early for anyone to arrive.' Yes, Fin and Amanda were usually early to pretty much anything, but two hours? She wasn't expecting anyone else so it had to be. Heels clicking on the wood surface in the entranceway, Olivia unlatched the deadbolt and opened the door to greet her friends.

The smile immediately changed, her jaw dropping at who was standing in front of her. "El?"

He stood transfixed. 'God. She's so beautiful. It's really her.' Elliot offered her a worn smile. "Hey Li…" He was cut off by a fist slamming into his nose.

 **A/N: How many of you were expecting that? I certainly was, lol. Elliot should've seen that coming.**

 **Anyway, what did you guys think? All the questions about Elliot's disappearance will be answered in the next chapter for the most part.**

 **Told you he wouldn't have left without a reason. Just hope Olivia can set aside her anger to see it :)**

 **Be sure to check out my other fics, and drop a review for this one and I'll send you a sneak peek.**

 **God Bless**

 **Alex**


	2. Chapter 2: Recollection

**A/N: Hi all. So stoked with the reaction to the first chapter. Glad everyone liked it.**

 **Now that Olivia's anger is out of the way, what will happen?**

 **So many feels in this chapter. Hope I can do it justice.**

 **Disclaimer: If I owned SVU then there wouldn't be any reason for me to do this.**

 **This chapter is for babyvfan, the first reviewer.**

 **Be sure to check out my other EO stories, Prey and From the Ashes.**

 **Enjoy and review.**

Chapter 2: Recollection

"'Hi Liv! HI LIV!'" Ignoring the fiery throbbing of her bruised knuckles, Olivia shook with white heat. "That's what you say after two and a half fucking years Stabler! As if you never left?" Her eyes blazed at the man crumpled on the floor. 'The gall, the fucking gall.' "You son of a bitch! Get out of here before I do something worse!"

A hand drifting to cup his nose, Elliot felt wet, sticky liquid coating his fingertips. As he expected, it was crimson. 'I should've known it would happen.' Even with the unfairness of it all, all Olivia knew was that he abruptly left her without a word. The rage in her eyes, the pain behind it… it killed him, a knife to his very heart. He propped himself on his arms to stand. However, weakened from two years of torture and malnutrition, his elbows gave way and he collapsed back to the ground.

The sight snapped Olivia back to reality from her enraged state. Blinking the red from her eyes, she finally had a clear picture of her former Partner. A gasp tore from her lips. "Oh my God," Olivia breathed, hands shooting up to cover her mouth.

Staring at him, Olivia couldn't believe the state he was in. All the years that they knew each other she had marveled at the sheer physical prowess that was Elliot Stabler. Muscled as a Greek god, every time she had caught a glimpse of him without his clothes – such as that undercover operation involving the animal smugglers – he never ceased to take her breath away. No matter what he oozed a cocky confidence that she greatly admired.

Not a single iota of that remained. The man in front of her, unable to even stand, was a wraith. His greycoat and pants hung loosely on his frame. Strong hands were now bony, Olivia clearly seeing the outlines of his bones. Elliot's face was shrunken, cheeks hollowed out.

Most hauntingly to her was his eyes. The deep azure blue that she had fallen in love with, always sparkling with passion and amusement. They were muted now, worn with pain and loss. It hit her very soul.

All anger at him melted away. "El!" Olivia cried, rushing across the hall and kneeling by his side. Before she could even blink her arms had pulled him to her, head resting in the crook of her neck. "I'm sorry. God, I'm sorry." Fingertips stroked his short hair, the strands almost uniformly grey. "Are you ok?"

To Elliot, this was one of those grimly ironic situations where one simply laughed or cried. The low chuckle hiccupping from his mouth indicated which he chose. "It's nice to know you still have your strength Benson. Just save that for the perps from now on."

The smile that crossed her face was instinctive, the comfort this man elicited from her not having waned even after two and a half years. Pulling back, she reached up and cupped his cheek. "Are you sure you're ok El?" Olivia stroked his sallow skin with her thumb. The sight of his blood still scared her.

Elliot gulped, suddenly numb. Soft fingertips like red hot irons on his skin, he couldn't help but wonder how one touch from this woman affected him more than hours of brutal beatings in his captivity. 'Because it's Olivia Benson's touch.' What little intimate contact they had always affected him this way. "I'm fine," he choked out. "All I need is a napkin. Trust me I've had worse."

Dropping her hand, Olivia's heart clenched at the manner in which he said those words. 'He's not kidding, or making light.' What could have happened to him? To her El?

"Is it too late to invite myself in?" Elliot felt relieved to see the old banter come back to him so quickly.

Olivia felt the same. "I guess it's alright," she quipped back, rising from the carpeted floor. "You coming El?"

Remaining where he was, Elliot stared at her with haunted eyes. "A little help Olivia."

The light moment brought on by their banter immolated at that moment. Strong Elliot, needing her assistance to simply get up? 'Oh, El.' Reaching down, Olivia fought the tears that threatened to form. It shocked her how easily two years of anger and rage were simply sidelined, but seeing him so broken, so pained, all that remained was an icy sadness that stabbed at her heart.

It only got worse from there. Latching onto her hand to pull himself up – more accurately to help her pull him up – Elliot wrapped and arm around her shoulder for support. The ice pick dug into her soul yet again as Olivia saw his shambling limp, left knee barely able to prop his meager weight. Taking in her apartment, Elliot turned those haunted blue eyes to her. "Were you planning a party Olivia?"

Willing herself to not shiver at his touch and close proximity, memories of him flooding back now that he had returned, Olivia didn't register his voice until several long seconds had passed. "Um… yeah. Just the squad. Fin, Casey, Alex, Munch, Nick, Amanda…"

"Nick and Amanda?" _Who are they?_

Olivia set Elliot down on the couch before plopping right next to him. It was all so surreal, Elliot here in that… condition, her talking to him as if they never separated. 'Of course, I love him,' she thought. "Of course, you never met them. Nick Amaro and Amanda Rollins. They were the new detectives that transferred in after you le… disappeared."

"Right." Elliot's eyes sifted to the green sofa, counting the stiches in the upholstery. 'You have to tell her Stabler, you have to.'

A sudden gurgle from his stomach filled the room. Olivia couldn't help the smirk on her face. "Hungry Stabler?"

Unable to deny it, Elliot nodded. "Famished. Haven't eaten all too much in the last two years." It just slipped out.

The statement brought the ice pick out to stab at Olivia's soul. Trapping her tears beneath her creamy lids, Olivia stood and quickly dashed to the kitchen, even now unwilling for him to see her this broken. "What would you like El?" she choked out.

"Anything," she heard him say. "Even leftover Chinese would be hog heaven."

Rifling through her refrigerator, she ignored the party _hors-d'oeuvres_ and grabbed a tupperware tub of corned beef. Two slices of bread, some cheese and mayo, a sliced onion, cut down the middle and _viola_.

Elliot's mouth immediately watered at the aroma of the sandwich, eyes focusing on the plate in Olivia's hand. "Here you go…" He took the plate from her, ripping into the sandwich halves voraciously. She watched him with half shock, half pain. The gauntness, the tortured eyes, the dining habits of a starved wolf. 'My El, what happened to you?'

The delicious beef hit the spot better than rice paste and watery lentil soup. Wiping his mouth and nose with one of the fancy napkins on the coffee table, Elliot sighed contentedly before he spotted a document on the table's glass surface. "What's this?" He reached over and took it between gaunt fingers. Eyes widened. "Sergeant's exam?"

Olivia answered with a nod. "Yes. Cragen is retiring and asked me to take his place."

"Wow." So much he had missed. "If anyone deserves it you do." He felt tanned fingers tapping on his knee. "Liv?"

Olivia's breath hitched, Elliot gazing at her intently, boring into her soul. She couldn't help the pain at feeling his thigh under his once strong legs. "Only skin and bones," she murmured, reaching to cup his cheek once again. "El."

Suddenly she found herself squeezed in a tight embrace. "Liv," Elliot cried, the tidal wave of overwhelming sorrow and joy at his predicament rushing out of him. The smell of her, long a treasured memory in the dank cave, wafted into his nostrils like the most pleasant flower. Lavender body soap, vanilla shampoo, and a unique odor he could only describe as 'Olivia.' Sobs wracked his body. "I missed you Olivia. I missed you so much."

The sensations were overwhelming. Elliot's arms squeezing her waist; Elliot's face buried in the crook of her neck; Elliot's hot tears drenching her skin. Elliot never cried, not once. Not even when Eli was born. Slowly, cautiously, she wrapped her arms around him, allowing him to purge his system. Once again she was assaulted by his scent, the wonderful scent of cologne, deodorant, and just plain 'Elliot.' The familiar odor danced in her nostrils. Tears welled in her lids as well. "I missed you too Elliot. God, I missed you." Wrapped in each other's embrace, Elliot and Olivia cried over two years lost.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

Neither of them knew how long they were wrapped together on the couch, only that it had been enough to allow tears to dry and trembling to cease. Both wanted to talk, confess their souls but it was just so comforting. Finally expressing a level of intimacy that they had been too afraid to express in the past.

Olivia, however, knew that they had to get over the hump. "El…" she gently coaxed, moving to leave his embrace.

Reluctantly, Elliot complied, releasing her. His left hand remained firmly clasped to Olivia's right. "You want to know where I've been for the last two and a half years." It wasn't a question.

Biting her lip, Olivia nodded. A foreboding feeling welled inside her. It would only be painful to know, but on the other hand what choice did she have? The traces of anger and resentment at Elliot still bubbling inside her needed to be addressed. "Please tell me Elliot. I… I need to know."

Locking eyes with her, the beautiful brown orbs that haunted his dreams for so long, Elliot gulped down the knot in his throat. "Liv, please know that I would never leave you. I fully intended on returning to you as soon as I was ready."

She stared back into his azure blue pools, knowing he spoke the truth.

"After Jenna, I…" Elliot closed his eyes for a moment, face scrunching in still present pain. "It was so hard for me Liv. I killed a kid, an innocent victim just the twins' age. The memories kept haunting me afterword, they still do. Blood pooling around her body, the crack of my sidearm as it bucked in my hand, the ethereal breath leaving her lungs for the last time… How could I live with myself?"

"It was a good shoot El," Olivia replied softly, even after all this time leaping to his defense. "Jenna snapped and was on a rampage. She killed Sister Peg and would've killed many more." Heart clenching, she hated the outcome of it all; Jenna had lost everything and didn't deserve this. 'But she made her choice.' "You protected us."

"Exactly Liv." The gaunt face seemed to acquire a greater ashen quality as he spoke. "All that was running inside my head was that I had to save you. You. Not anyone else." He signed, sunken ribcage heaving weakly. "I'm not sure, it's just… after that everything in my life started to fall apart. Nightmares started to haunt me, almost all of them revolving around me being too late and Jenna killing you. Only alcohol helped numb the pain so I began drinking heavily."

Fingers clenching tightly to Elliot's hand, a deep ache rumbled inside Olivia's very soul. 'What did I do?' she lamented. After the shooting everything inside her said to give Elliot his space, let him recover. 'I should've gone to him.'

"Kathy must've had enough," Elliot continued, omitting the real reason. "She presented me with divorce papers one day and kicked me out. By this time I was a wreck Olivia. Knowing what I did about your mother and her situation with booze, I couldn't come close to you in that condition."

"You can always come to me El," she interrupted. 'I love you.' The second part died on her tongue, too fearful to voice the thoughts.

Elliot shook his head forcefully. "No, you deserve better Liv. I had to get myself back on track before returning to you. The kids helping me, I got sober and turned in my papers." His right moved forward to grab her free hand, the stare intensifying. "I couldn't go back Olivia. No matter what happened with you I just couldn't continue at SVU." Olivia nodded, understanding. "One of my old Marine buddies arranged for me a job in Washington." A moment of uncertainty flashed on his face before he shrugged it off. "Fuck it, if they want to throw me in jail for this then let them. It was at the CIA."

Now that was something unexpected. "The CIA?" 'Elliot as a spook?' He was certainly hot enough to be James Bond. Olivia only just repressed the blush that thought caused.

"Yeah, there's this organization called the Special Activities Division. Basically it's like the CIA's version of Special Forces. With my training as a marine and a detective it was a relative shoo-in." His stomach curled painfully, voice barely choking out what came next. "I listened to all of your messages Olivia, but I wasn't ready to call you back. I did what I could, using the kids and sending you my necklace, hoping against hope that you would understand that I still kept you close to my heart."

"Then why did you leave?" Olivia instantly regretted the pained flinch she caused in Elliot, her former partner recoiling back as if shot. 'But I have to know.' She had reasoned his initial five month absence was understandable, and she forgave him in her mind. But the rest… "Whatever contact you had with me ended two years ago. Why, if you still cared about me, would you do that?"

There was a tense silence, neither one wanting to break the haze that had descended upon them. "It was my first assignment," Elliot said, breaking the haze. "The Agency sent me and my team to Afghanistan; there was a large increase in Taliban insurgent activity along the Pakistani border and they wanted trained officers to assist the soldiers in gathering intelligence. It was supposed to be two months before I would be allowed home, and I planned on seeing you as soon as I touched down." 'And confessing my love.' "Two weeks in however, I was with a squad of Army Rangers at a mountaintop observation post; we were scouting enemy movements in the valley floor below. All of a sudden the air lit up with screeching rounds and lancing jets of flame." Olivia instinctively clutched Elliot's hands tighter, watching as his eyes glazed over with the faraway look of remembered horror. It was the same look as they both had gotten after a particularly gruesome case.

"El…"

He shook his head. "It's just hard remember. I'll spare you the gory details, but by the end every man in the position was killed – except me."

Olivia's heart began to beat wildly in her chest. She had a feeling where he was going…

"The insurgents found me when picking through the wreckage, deciding that I would be a perfect trophy to take before our helicopter QRF arrived. By the time I drifted back into consciousness…" Eyes closed at the painful memory. "I was in a cell deep in the bowels of an Afghan cave." He swallowed. "My home for the following two years."

A strangled gasp left Olivia's throat. Without warning she pulled him to her, desperate to prove to herself that he was alive, that he was with her. 'My sweet El,' she thought, hot tears singing her eyelids. White heat boiled in her veins, but not at Elliot, at herself. 'All this time I tried to hate him, believed the worst of him.' She had though Elliot left her to suffer, while he had likely endured her experience with Lewis on a daily basis for two years. And she had hated him all through it. 'What kind of monster am I?'

Choking out a strangled sob, Elliot scrunched his eyes tightly closed. "Please don't hate me Olivia. I failed you, please don't hate me." He couldn't tell her that he knew, that Muhammad had consistently taunted him with the famed Olivia Benson's activities – including one sensational kidnapping. "I failed you."

"No El," she cried back, struggling to maintain her composure. "I'm the one who failed you. You should hate me."

His arms clasped at her back, needing to feel the soothing warmth. "I could never hate you, Liv."

"Me neither." Each of them knew of the other's sincerity.

A rattle of the doorknob jarred both out of their moment. "Liv?" called a voice with a prominent, southern drawl. "You do realize your door's unlock…" The figure that entered, one Elliot could make out as a blonde in her mid-thirties, stopped cold at the curious and confusing scene. "Who's this?"

 **A/N: Well, Liv and El couldn't have expected his return not to have been noticed.**

 **Anyway, did you like how I portrayed it? Parts of this actually made me cry.**

 **Next time, we have the squad's reaction. Elliot will get punched again. Any guesses as to who will do the honors? ;)**

 **Also, what about Cassidy?**

 **Be sure to review and check out the latest updates of my other stories :)**

 **God Bless**

 **Alex**


	3. Chapter 3: Retribution

**A/N: An early update! Whooo!**

 **I know this update is coming early, but my good friend SummerRaeBenson is having a birthday today. Hope you enjoy your present Summer :)**

 **Apparently everyone believed Fin would punch Elliot. Have to say, I expected that.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own SVU. There, I said it.**

 **Enjoy and review.**

Chapter 3: Retribution

Amanda Rollins had come to greatly respect and admire Olivia Benson over the two and a half years she had worked in Manhattan SVU. After her experience in Atlanta it was refreshing to serve with and under a distinguished female officer, Amanda having learned quite a lot from her over the years.

Thusly, noticing Olivia in a highly emotional state – something that wasn't too common at the bullpen – with a strange man – one with a gaunt appearance – in her apartment greatly worried her. "Anything wrong Olivia?"

Olivia could notice a tint of concern in Amanda's voice, hand ever so slightly ghosting across dressy jeans to her gun. "Everything is fine Amanda," she replied, setting her emotions aside and allowing a smiling facade to descend over her face. With the squad coming over she would have to tell all of them about Elliot. 'But I can't let Elliot see or hear that.'

Seeing through her façade, Amanda's eyes narrowed but she accepted it. Olivia was a smart woman after all.

However, the blonde detective was not alone. "Hey Liv!" called the cheery voice of the newly retired John Munch from behind the slightly ajar door. "Fin's parking the car, so it was my duty to escort these lovely ADAs."

"Such a gentleman," Alex Cabot deadpanned, smirking as the trio entered.

"Liv?" Casey Novak immediately noticed her best friend's disheveled nature. Despite Olivia's smile, the tear stains lining her cheeks were all too noticeable. "What happ…" Jaw dropped, eyes widening at the last person they expected to see.

Alex was completely still while Munch's mouth flopped open and closed like a fish. "Stabler?"

Elliot's mind willed itself to ease from his sudden nervousness. Aside from this Amanda woman – who had to be one of the new detectives Olivia mentioned – these were all his friends. Or at least were. 'God, what if they hate me too…' A fiery sting jarred him out of his thoughts, hand shooting to cup his cheek.

"Casey!" Olivia yelled in shock. The former ADA had crossed the carpet before any of them knew what she was doing.

"You bastard," Casey hissed. "How dare you show up here after what you did?"

Rather than hurt him – though it did hurt a lot – the slap actually helped clear Elliot's mind. 'Always thought it would be Fin,' he thought with gallows humor. Eyes zeroed in on the others. Amanda seemed embarrassed from being here, Munch… he couldn't really read Munch, while Alex's piercing blue eyes shot daggers at him. 'Not a good start.'

"El." Much of the tension in the air dissipated when Olivia hurried to his side, hand cupping his red cheek soothingly. "You ok?"

Fatigue catching up to him, Elliot nodded. He was tired, so very tired.

"Go rest El. You can use my bed." Sighing, Elliot complied. His muscles and bones ached too much to lodge even the weakest protests.

Watching the door close, Olivia turned to her friends with a glare, only to see it drop. Guarded anger was replaced by confused pain on their faces. "Had enough?" she asked, not meaning to sound too sarcastic or biting even if it came out that way.

"He looked so frail," Casey breathed, anger having melted away.

"What happened to him?" Alex added, shifting from Olivia, to the closed bedroom door, to Olivia again.

Before Olivia could respond yet another voice made itself known. 'Son of a bitch.' Olivia suddenly wished the party had been scheduled for a different night. "Hey everyone. Found an excellent parking space…" Fin stopped, noticing the gloomy air shrouding everyone.

"Elliot's back," Munch murmured, still shocked by Elliot's appearance.

As Olivia feared, Fin's eyes blazed red-hot fury. "That little shit! Where is he?"

"Fin! Calm down!" Olivia yelled. Despite having been just as angry at Elliot only an hour before, any hate directed at him enraged her. Breathing deeply, she forced her voice to return to a softer tone. "There is something I have to tell all of you.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

Jesus, he was exhausted. Struggling to remain awake, heavy lids continued again and again to sheath over blue irises only to jerk back up – only to repeat the process. Two years of malnutrition and constant pain ate away at his once impressive stamina. Elliot fell to the lure of his weighted lids. A sigh escaped his lips at the previous day. 'So exhausting,' he thought to himself.

He spoke the truth; it was as if his soul had hitched a ride to a roller coaster. "Olivia." The woman he loved was finally back in his life… and it broke his heart. The still tough as nails Olivia Benson kept a strong front, Elliot allowed himself a small grin at how that hadn't changed, yet he could see it in her eyes. Once vibrant, gold flecked chocolate has dulled slightly. What remained didn't possess the animated sparkle he was so used to. 'Olivia, Liv, my Liv.'

Deep within his mind Elliot knew why. That motherfucker Muhammad never ceased to taunt him for it; that news had been the reason for his attempt, the reason for the most intense beating of his entire imprisonment. 'But I didn't break. I came back to her. For her.'

'You don't deserve her,' another voice hissed at him.

Anguish crossed Elliot's face. 'I know.'

Ears picked up the faint jiggling of the doorknob. "Elliot?"

Lids flung open. "Cap?" Sure enough, in came Don Cragen, squeezing through the doorway and shutting it behind him; Elliot felt grateful for the older man's respecting his privacy. "So you're retiring huh?" he observed, smirking weakly. "I didn't see pigs flying over the city in the last few days."

A chuckle escaped Cragen's lips. "Glad to see you're sense of humor hasn't changed," he observed, genuinely happy. Decades of experience hardening himself on the job had been needed for him not to show the wave of grief cresting over him at the sight of that wry grin stretched over a near-skeletal face. Elliot was the closest thing he ever had to a son. That in mind, the older man carefully sat on the bed next to him. Hands folded into his lap as Elliot shifted uncomfortably. "How are you feeling son?"

Shifting his gaze to the floor, Elliot shrugged softly – every movement felt like swimming through sand. "Overwhelmed at times, with all that's changed. I mean… I'm a grandfather now." That had been quite the shock. Holding little Joshie in his arms, it was so surreal.

"That's great Elliot. Maureen?" A nod answered that question, an uncomfortable silence descending in its wake.

Elliot was the first to break it. "Olivia told you everything didn't she?" It wasn't a question – not really.

A pulsing ache wormed its way into Cragen's bones, the older man nodding. "She did Elliot." What his – for all intents and purposes – son went through killed him inside. An impartial observer could have observed that Cragen aged at least five years in the hour since Olivia began Elliot's story. "I'm so sorry for you."

"You thought I left her like all the others." Once again, not a question. Elliot was surprised how dispassionate his words were. As with Muhammad's torture however, killing his emotions at that moment was less painful than focusing on the knowledge that his closest friends – and the woman he loved – thought so low of and ended in hating him. "Don't try and lie."

The former detective's words sunk like a javelin into Cragen's heart, but he couldn't blame Elliot. He was right after all. "I refused to believe it for the longest time. It just wasn't you Elliot. You would never have left her, at least not the Elliot I've known for twelve years."

Gaze returning to lock with Cragen's, the soon to be retired Captain met tortured, blue eyes. "I wouldn't. I'd rather die."

"I thought so Elliot, but when you didn't show up after Lewis I had to face facts. Turns out my original feeling was accurate." Hands fiddled nervously. "Do you know about Lew…"

"Yes," Elliot replied immediately.

Cragen blinked, slightly taken aback by his absolute knowledge. "How? Did Maureen or Kathleen tell you?" Elliot shook his head, slowly, painfully recounting the truth. The truth he had left out when bearing his ordeal to Olivia.

Silent, a stillness overcoming him, Cragen placed a comforting hand on Elliot's shoulder. "You have to tell Olivia about this Elliot," Cragen said in a low voice. "Her experience with Lewis nearly killed her." He remembered what Olivia had tearfully confessed to him, how the fact Elliot didn't even try to come to her. 'When she hears this…'

"No." Elliot shook his head forcefully. "She can't know, at least not now."

"She needs to know how much you care." Cragen paused. For their entire partnership, Elliot and Olivia had dodged countless rumors considering their longtime closeness and compatibility. "Please tell me the truth Elliot. Do you love her?"

Weakly turning away, Elliot blinked back tears welling in his eyes. "Yes." Any more eloquent answers died on his tongue. "But I don't deserve her."

"I don't under…"

"She is the most amazing woman I've ever met. Olivia deserves a man who can give her everything, a man who…" Elliot choked back an errant sob. "Who isn't broken beyond repair."

If this was the same Elliot Stabler, Cragen knew only Olivia could put him back together. 'And vice versa.'

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

"Are you sure you're ok Liv?" Casey inquired, green eyes staring deeply into brown. The ADA knew no one could ever possess the connection with Olivia that Elliot seemed to, but if anyone else could read the detective it was either her or Alex. "I could talk with you a little more if you…"

"No," Olivia responded quickly. A fatigue was evident in her almost-whisper. As if drained of all energy. "I'm fine Casey, really." Lips curled into a wan smile. Casey didn't buy it.

From the slight tensing in Fin's bicep, he definitely agreed with her. However the longtime detective knew Olivia well enough when not to push it. "Liv, uh." He shifted his feet along the carpet uncomfortably. "Could you let Stabler know that… I'm sorry for thinking all that bad stuff about him." It rankled Fin to swallow his pride, but this was easier than telling Elliot face to face wasn't it? "I mean, he and I never really got along but… what he went through… no one should go through that. Gulping, red flushed his cheeks.

Smiling, genuinely now, Olivia shared a chuckle with Casey at Fin's discomfort. "Of course Fin, I will."

"Thanks." Fin averted his gaze for a mere moment, eyes swiveling back to Olivia. "Let us know if you… or Stabler need anything."

"We're always here for both of you," Casey added. She was kind of hating herself for slapping Elliot as well.

"I know, and deep down he does do. Goodnight guys."

"Goodnight Liv."

Shutting the door, deadbolt sliding with a click, Olivia turned and slumped back against the door. Her whole body shook, muscles trembling with the weight of the past six hours. "Oh God," she breathed.

After informing everyone as they arrived, all of the anger and hatred nursed at Elliot had vaporized as the tragedy of his experience exposed itself. Elliot might not care for the pity that would naturally be sent his way – Olivia remembered how much she hated the kid gloves people gave her after the Lewis ordeal – but it was for the best. The squad was their family after all, and sympathy beat hate any day of the week.

"Why did this happen?" Including such luminaries as Gitano, the time in the beach house, and Sealview, Olivia had to admit this had actually been the most punishing sledgehammer to the gut she had ever experienced. "Elliot. Why wasn't I there for you?" In a way, she actually wished he had simply abandoned her; then he would have been happy, enjoying his life instead of rotting for two years in a terrorist torture chamber. Just picturing Elliot hurting and suffering alone like that sent a stabbing knife into her heart. "God, why didn't you take me instead?" Olivia would have gladly given her life so that her love would have been safe and happy.

Head shook violently. "What's done is done." Months of therapy with Dr. Lindstrom had drilled that fact into her psyche. After Lewis, dealing with the flashbacks and knowledge of her failure, it was important that she move on and focus on the future. So it was with Elliot. Fingertips brushing the cold metal of the bedroom doorknob, Olivia vowed silently to herself. 'I will not shirk. Elliot may have been alone all those years, but now he has me.' A tear rolled down her cheek. 'No matter how painful, I will always be there for him. I promise before God.'

Softly, she turned the knob. "El?"

Not a sound emanated from the darkened bedroom. Sock covered feet pattering on the carpet, Olivia leaned over him and felt her heart clench. Low light from the moon and street illuminated Elliot's sleeping face, giving it an even gaunter expression than previously. 'My El…' Further tears welled in her eyes. 'How could I have hated him so?'

Deciding it was best not to wake him, Olivia adjourned to her closet to change. Eyes blurred from grief as self-loathing burned within her. 'What kind of heartless bitch are you Olivia?' one voice kept snarling. 'Shouldn't you have known he would never leave you?'

'I'm sorry,' came the weak reply. 'I don't deserve him. He is the perfect man and he deserves someone far better.' Olivia had wanted to be that someone so desperately, ever since they had been introduced so long before. The fact that she failed him, not just this once but back after Gitano and in Oregon as well… She didn't think she would ever forgive herself with hurting him so.

Exiting, Olivia had changed into a pair of sleep shorts and one of Elliot's old t-shirts that she couldn't bear parting with. For so long she had worn it to bed, inhaling his scent in the most profound of sorrows.

"Liv?"

His voice was a gust of freezing air, stilling her in place. "El, you should be sleeping." It was remarkable that her deep caring for him returned so quickly. 'I love him,' she remembered.

"I…" He drifted off, voice hoarse with pain and… something else. Olivia blinked. Was it loneliness? "I don't want to be alone anymore. Can you stay?"

Seconds ticking as a shroud of silence descended over them, Olivia froze once more. Circuits were short circuiting inside her mind as it debated what to answer.

'He doesn't deserve you!'

'You betrayed him!'

'You're still with Brian. It's unfair to Elliot.'

Mouth opening, then shutting once all responses died on her tongue, all that finally came out was: "Are you sure El?"

Waiting, there was hesitation but when he did respond, a hint of the former Stabler determination attached to his words. "Please Liv. I… I can't be alone. Please, I need to know you are here."

Olivia's heart melted. 'How can I say no?' Wordlessly, she padded to the opposite side of the bed and slipped under the smooth covers. A boney hand immediately wrapped around her waist and pulled itself toward her. Fleeting calls within her told Olivia to back away, but it was too late. It felt so good. "Goodnight El," she murmured.

"Goodnight Liv," came the reply, settling in her arms. "Thank you."

"Anytime." At that moment she knew nothing between them would be the same, that the walls so carefully constructed during their partnership and friendship were irrevocably damaged.

Listening to his breathing, bathing in his intoxicating scent, Olivia Benson couldn't care less.

 **A/N: So many feels. Of course they will be alright. Liv and El can never be separated.**

 **Kind of struggled with this chapter. Had to inform the squad without it being too corny or sloppily written. I was going to have a scene where we found out everyone's reaction but try as I might it never came out well. For the best I suppose. The primary focus is on Liv and El repairing each other.**

 **Next up, Olivia helps Elliot get his life and health back together. Kathleen and Cassidy will be dropping by as well, and Olivia is forced to make a decision. A choice rather.**

 **Be sure to review, and check out the latest updates of my other EO fics.**

 **God Bless**

 **Alex**


	4. Chapter 4: Rupture

**A/N: Hey everyone. Decided to continue this story even through my hiatus. Just keeping the flame alive :)**

 **Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, don't rub it in.**

 **Be sure to enjoy and review. There's a happy surprise for all at the end ;)**

Chapter 4: Rupture

Heated rays streamed through the sheer curtains to warm Olivia's skin. A soft whimper left her mouth as consciousness returned. "Mmmm." Arms began to shift automatically to stretch, banish the effects of sleep on her worn muscles. Her left moved easily enough – her right on the other hand, something held it firmly in place.

Panic immediately rushed through her; Brian hadn't returned last night, she managed to remember that. Olivia's eyes shot wide open, flickering to the head resting on her shoulder. 'Oh.'

"Elliot," she whispered softly, heartbeats slowing as the memories returned. All the memories. "Oh El, my El." Since her right hand was gracefully pinned to her side by Elliot's frame, she guided her left to softly stroke his scalp. The sight of his gaunt face both warmed and stabbed at her heart. Olivia hated to see the remnants of his ordeal – they bore reminders of a pain she could never hope to understand. Lewis had been the closest she had come to hell on earth, but the immediate scars had ended after a few days. 'Elliot's lasted two years.' A tear fell from her eye.

However, something else graced his face. Olivia couldn't fathom what, but his features had lost the strain, the stress worn even predating when they were still partners. Not that he wasn't before, but now he just… he was just so handsome in the glowing sunlight.

A groan escaping Elliot's lips, her shifted in the process of waking up – and his breath hit the portion of her sleepwear that covered her breasts.

Electric tendrils coursing through her system to her core, Olivia detangled herself from Elliot's grip – so weak from what she remembered of it – and scrambled out of bed.

"Liv?" Elliot ground out groggily, arms spreading out on the bed where she had been. "You ok?"

"Um, uh…" Olivia was glad he was still practically asleep, for then he wouldn't see her flushed red cheeks. "I'm going to make breakfast for us. Take your time getting up." With that she rushed out the door into her living room, closing it behind her. Two and a half years and Elliot still had an effect on her. 'Don't be so surprised Benson.' She wasn't in a way; her love for him as strong as it ever was, it would have been surprising if Elliot didn't affect her.

Padding to the kitchen, a sudden thought caused a gasp to leave her lips. "Brian." Shit, she completely forgot about him since Elliot arrived at her doorstep last night. Olivia's gut churned thanks to the sticky situation she found herself in.

She reached into her fridge and removed several thick slices of bacon and five eggs. Mind racing at a mile a minute as she cracked the eggs onto the frying pan resting on the stove, sizzle crackling from the metal pan as the yellow/clear substance landed on it, Olivia knew that she was going to have to let Brian know about Elliot. He was likely going to freak. She remembered back from the early years of their partnership that El never liked Cassidy and the feeling was completely mutual.

'He's been a good boyfriend for the most part.'

'Then why is he never around when you need him Olivia? Where was he when you woke up screaming after Lewis?' He was at work or at a bar, Olivia knew this.

However, a part of her wouldn't let him go – was dying for the slightest form of affection. 'He was there for me at the trial.'

'But you love Elliot.' Eyes fluttered clothes. She did, more than anything.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Lids pulling back, Olivia found Elliot watching her, figure gaunt as his sweats and t-shirt hung loose on him like pouches. Her heart clenched. "How come there were so many of my clothes in your closet?"

Blinking, Olivia couldn't help the small smirk that formed on her face. "Guess some stuff got left over when you stayed over during your fights with Kathy."

"Too easy." He hobbled to the dining table, taking a seat. He was enjoying this, loving to be able to tease Liv like in the past. "Something tells me a certain detective has sticky fingers.

Her eyes narrowed, nose crinkling. "Excuse me?"

"You better arrest yourself Sergeant Benson." Elliot couldn't help but snicker as the doorbell rang.

Olivia laughed happily as she made her way to the door. 'I missed this.' The playful banter between her and Elliot had been some of the most pleasurable moments from their partnership. It warmed her heart that they could settle back into the routine, even after all that happened. 'All that I did to him.'

Not really caring about who was at the door, she flicked at the lock and threw it open. Blonde strands immediately formed into view. "Kathleen?" She'd have known Elliot's middle daughter anywhere.

"Olivia!" Kathleen squealed happily. "It's so good to see you again." Of all the Stabler children, Olivia was closest to her.

"Same here," Olivia beamed, moving to hug the younger woman when her leg bumped against something. "What…" She glanced down to meet wide blue eyes staring at her. "Who is this?"

Kathleen laughed. "This is my little nephew Joshua, but we call him Joshie for short. Maureen let me babysit him for the day.

A longing affection tugging at her soul, Olivia's heart melted at the sight of the little one. 'Elliot is a grandfather?' The fact only drove home the time they had lost. "Can I hold him?"

"Sure. Of course." 'Why would she even ask?' Olivia was like a second mother to her, a presence in her life for the last fifteen years more or less; the blonde really couldn't remember a time before the brunette gifted the Stabler family with her presence and love.

Olivia's hands trembled slightly, a development that shocked her. When dealing with victims, babies she encountered in her day to day life, it was always just part of the job. Holding them, comforting them, everyone praised her instincts but those babies would be gone soon. Back to their homes or new guardians.

Wrapping her palms around Joshie's waist and lifting him out of the stroller, Olivia remembered the last time she trembled like this – the day Eli was born. 'I was the first person to ever hold him.' Denied the joy of carrying and raising a child of her own, by circumstance and pain, the closest Olivia had were his kids. The kids of her love. And she loved them too.

Affection was soon found out to transfer to grandchildren too. "Hey little one," she cooed in a low, soft voice – one Elliot had never heard escape Olivia's lips minus the occasional emotional moment. 'And last night.'

"I know you haven't seen me before Joshie," Olivia continued, mesmerized by the same eyes that she had fallen for long ago. "But I'm your grandpa's best friend and former partner. Bad people kept us apart, but I hope you have room in your heart because I'm here to stay."

Everyone, Olivia herself included, were shocked at how meaningful her conversation was with the youngest of the Stabler clan. All waited on baited breath for what said member thought.

Staring at her, blue eyes boring on the unfamiliar woman in front of him, suddenly a quick jerk of his arm smacked Olivia's nose playfully. Squeals of joy echoed from between Joshie's lips, hands clapping together happily.

"Is that a good thing?" Olivia asked, slightly apprehensive.

"Are you kidding?" A massive smile had planted itself on Kathleen's face. Striding to her, the blonde slapped the older woman on the back. "I've never seen him take to a stranger so quickly. Even took him a day to warm up to me. You're so good with him Livvy, a natural."

Nervousness disappearing, Olivia nuzzled the still giggling baby's nose with hers. "I can't help myself, he's just so cute." Arms enveloped Joshie, drawing him close to her.

Tears threatened to slip down Elliot's lids at the sight.

" _You know, you'd make a great mom... I'll support you."_

Memory flooding his mind, Elliot knew that statement was as true now as it was back then. Long ago, he had decided that his ultimate goal was to make her happy, and here he was with a second chance.

"Ok, ok." Elliot hated to break the moment, but Joshie was his grandson too – and breakfast had to be finished. "Let the proud grandpa have a chance."

"Grandpa," Olivia giggled, no sweeter sound ever reaching Elliot's ears. "I never thought that word would associate with Elliot Stabler." To her, he'd always be the gorgeous man in his prime – once he recovered from the captivity she knew he would be again.

Cradling his grandson in his arms, Elliot began padding into the living room. "You and me both, but I fell in love with this guy immediately. Didn't I munchkin?" A tickling finger produced another spate of giggles.

Olivia's heart clenched at protective father/grandfather Elliot. Longing filling her, in all honesty whenever she imagined herself as a mother, Elliot was always the father in that scenario.

"Livvy?" A turn of the head found a young blonde pulling her in for a crushing hug. "Please forgive me."

"Forgive you?" Confusion returned to the brunette sergeant. "What for?"

"When dad was captured, the CIA sent someone to inform all of us in the family – I was officially his emergency contact for the Agency after he and mom split up for the last time. We were restricted under penalty of law from divulging dad's status, but I should have told you."

Everything made sense now, the reason no one contacted her. "It's fine Kathleen. I don't blame you. It wasn't your fault." She kissed the crown of Kathleen's head, reassuring the closest person she had to a daughter that everything was alright between them. All malice had evaporated seeing Elliot on the hallway floor last night.

Jingling of shifting door locks picked up by her ears, Olivia's eyes shifted to the front door. 'Oh no…'

"Liv, baby." The door swung open. "I'm home…" Brian Cassidy's eyes widened at the sight before him.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

'Elliot Stabler.' To say Brian Cassidy was irritated at having to see him again, after all these years, was committing a vast understatement of fact. Coming home from a nearly twenty-four hour shift with Tucker to this shmuck? He thought Olivia better than that. "Stabler, odd that you show your face here after what you did."

Olivia sighed, knowing this was going to happen. Brian was always jealous and insecure when it came to her and Elliot – one of the reasons she put away all her pictures and mementoes of him had been to avoid fights like this with Brian. Now though…

"I'm surprised you let this asshole in Liv," he shot venomously at her.

A white hot anger bubbled inside Elliot, both at Brian's harsh words and his use of "Liv." 'Only I can call her Liv!' He thought angrily.

However, a whimpering coming from his grandson brought Elliot back to reality. He was in no shape to fight – or even argue, and with Joshie and Kathleen here it would be irresponsible. "Katie," he responded hoarsely. "I think we should go."

"No El," Olivia panicked.

"Yeah Stabler," Cassidy sneered, enjoying the anguish on his rival's face. He had been the reason Olivia didn't get together with him after they first slept together. Of this, Cassidy was certain. "Do what you do best. Liv doesn't need you. She has me."

Olivia stared at her boyfriend. 'How can he be this callous?' Sure he was jealous, but this was insane. Elliot came first to her however. "El, please don't go." She placed a hand on his arm as he headed to join Kathleen at the door.

Turning his head, their eyes locked and their connection resumed. 'I can't let Joshie see this Liv. I'll be back.'

She understood. She always did. 'Ok.' With that he was gone, door shutting.

Crossing her arms, Olivia shot a glare at Brian. "What the hell was that Bri?" she seethed, confusion evaporating into enraged steam around her.

Cassidy didn't know what came over him either, but he knew that unless he could get rid of Elliot Stabler then Olivia would leave him. And this he would not allow. "What the hell with me? What the hell was that with you Olivia? You let that bastard back into your life after what he did to you! How the hell can you justify that?"

While she granted that he had a right to interject in her decisions, Olivia sensed something deeper driving this than mere concern and caring. Thusly, she bristled at the statement. "I don't have to justify my actions to you. I'm an independent woman with a mind of my own. You should trust me to make the right decisions."

"Trust you?" A dark chuckle left Cassidy's lips, a hand raking through spiky brown hair. "I did trust you Liv, I trusted you to have half a brain and the sense to go with it… then you do some crazy shit like this. Tell me, what did Stabler do to worm himself back into your good graces?"

'He stayed alive," Olivia thought, her heart clenching with anguish. 'For me.' "That is between him and me Bri, and you should be happy that my best friend came back to me!" Boyfriends were supposed to be happy for their girlfriend's happiness.

"Best friend?" As the anger clouded his mind, the fact that Olivia wouldn't accept Elliot back without a good reason escaped him. "I was there Olivia! I was there when you cried all night over him, even after a year! I was there where you cursed him under your breath! You hated him."

That barb caused her to flinch. 'And I will never forgive myself for it.' Yet, an incredulous scowl crossed her lips at his seeking the moral high ground. "Don't make yourself look so high and mighty Brian!" she ground out. "Where were you when I really needed you? All those times I had flashbacks and would wake up alone? Where the fuck were you?"

He gaped at her. "I was working…"

"No, you do not get to make that excuse!" The gall of him. "A real friend or lover would have taken time off after a tough case to comfort me, would have taken time off to actually reassure me of my strength after I was kidnapped and assaulted!" The only reason she stayed with him after that had been the fear of loneliness. 'Pathetic.' "If you really loved me you'd have been the first person in that squad car after Amanda, Nick, and Fin! Not dropping by the hospital to hand me clothes and scurry away like a frightened rat!"

Elliot would have – she knew it to be true. He would have dropped everything to save her, just like with Gitano at the bus station. All to save her.

He would never have betrayed her – not when it counted.

Laughing, cackling in the grim humor where it was either laugh or cry, Olivia took a step closer to Brian. "You have no right to take the moral high ground Brian, not when you're never here, not when you're probably out screwing prostitutes."

She expected him to deny it – deny it immediately and beg her forgiveness as any decent man would… but instead he hesitated. A subtle hitch of the breath, an almost unnoticeable flinch.

Jaw dropping, Olivia was stunned into silence. 'It's true.' Yes, she knew one instance. He had been undercover then though. "You bastard!" she snarled. "How could you!"

"I was lonely. You never let me…"

"NO! You do not get to use my trauma after Lewis to justify you cheating on me! At least if Elliot and I were together he'd understand and cherish me, not use me as some kind of sex toy."

Suddenly a sharp thwack echoed through the hallway. Olivia staggered back from the force, a biting sting throbbing in her cheek. A hand drifted to cup the likely red flesh. 'He slapped me.' I all her life she would never have expected Brian to do this.

Clarity returning to his mind, if only a flicker, Cassidy realized that he had gone too far. "Liv…"

"Get. Out." Her voice was even, dangerous. The Detective Benson low growl, bane of suspects and rapists everywhere.

"I didn't mean too," he said, reaching out an arm to cup her cheek…

Which was soon found bent behind his back, pain shooting through him like lightning. "GET OUT!" she screeched, not caring if the neighbors heard. With a forceful shove Olivia threw him into the hallway. "If I ever see you here again I will arrest you!" Her rage boiled, but underneath tears threatened to fall.

'How could I have been so foolish?'

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

Tapping her feet on the tiled, gleaming floor, Kathleen crossed her arms at her father. Elliot knew that look – she was miffed. "What is it Katie?" he asked, cuddling Joshie to him.

"Why'd you leave Olivia with that tool?" This wasn't like her father at all. The old Elliot would've stayed and fought over what he wanted, not concede the field without a shot being fired. "This isn't like you daddy."

A sigh left his lips. "It wasn't my place."

"You love Olivia don't you?" She took his silence as an affirmative answer. "Then why won't you fight for her?"

"She wouldn't be living with Cassidy if she wasn't happy." Strapping Joshie into his stroller, the relaxed demeanor from earlier had disappeared. "I lost my chance."

Response dying on her tongue, Kathleen's heart clenched for her father. The blonde had long ago come to terms with the situation between him and her mom – that they hadn't really been in love for years. Seeing how acutely he pined after Olivia, she knew the only way for him to be happy is if he was with her.

'But he would never be happy if she wasn't.' The catch-22 that described Livvy and her father's relationship to the letter. Hugging him, Kathleen pressed a kiss to his forehead. "The Lord will ensure the best happens." Of this he was certain. "Tell Olivia goodbye for me. I have to get this little guy back to his mommy." A finger tickled Joshie's stomach, the infant giggling once more. "Love you dad."

He smiled, heart warming with love for his child. "Love you too Katie." Kathleen shot him a final smile before pushing the stroller out of the lobby, disappearing across the corner.

A loud stomping from the direction of the elevator triggered his captivity-honed instincts, the sound reminiscent of the interrogators. Furious thumping slammed against his chest cavity. The feeling eased when an angry as hell Brian Cassidy appeared in his vision. This would be bad, but less so.

Close to having steam emanate from his ears, Cassidy's blazing eyes focused on Elliot. "Well Stabler, looks like everything goes your way even after becoming a bigger asshole than ever."

Elliot furrowed his brows, rising unsteadily onto his feet from his perch on a stone bench. "What?"

Cassidy opened his mouth to say something, but shook his head. "Whatever. If Olivia wants to be with a little bastard like you, then I don't want any part of that insanity." Elliot stared speechless as the spiky-haired man walked out. "She's all yours asshole," he called over his shoulder.

Stepping out of the elevator, on hand pushing on the wall to keep him steady, Elliot made his way slowly to Olivia's apartment. Reaching it, a soft sobbing registered in his ears from inside the slightly ajar door. "Liv? Liv are you ok?" A sinking feeling lodged itself in the pit of his stomach, spotting her hunched over on the couch, head in her hands. "Liv?"

Tilting her head at the sound of his voice, a large red handprint loomed into view. "El," Olivia breathed, breath hitching at the pure concern in his expression.

Eyes widening, the foreboding feeling boiled bright into unmitigated fury. "I'll kill him," Elliot ground out, a veritable inferno blazing inside him. "I'll fucking kill that bas…" Trying to storm, toward the door, his limp gave way. Only quick reflexes from his hands to grab one of the dining chairs kept him upright.

An unavoidable chuckle left Olivia's lips, the scene just too ironic. "You're in no shape to kick anybody's ass Stabler. Sit beside me." As if Elliot would deny her that.

Easing himself onto the couch, bones and muscles aching from the constant movement – not having had much during his stay in the dank cell – a sudden warmth coursed inside him when Olivia leaned her head in to rest on his chest. "Um," he gulped, anger forgotten thanks to the intoxicating woman against his skin. "Cassidy was pretty angry downstairs."

Olivia purred, enjoying the soft rhythm of his heartbeat. "Fuck him. He's out of my life now."

"He was never right for you Olivia; I remember from before."

The brunette nodded, tears threatening to return. "Elliot?"

Nearly inaudible, Elliot still managed to pick up her voice. "Yes Liv?" An errant hand moved to stroke her bare arm.

"Mmmm." His fingertips sent a pleasant tingle through her body. "Am I worth loving?"

Elliot stopped. "What?" Did she actually say that?

"Will I ever find someone who loves me?" The memory of the negative pregnancy test came to mind. "Do I even deserve happiness?"

She suddenly found herself pulled by a surprising strength, eyes locked with Elliot's. "Olivia Benson, you deserve everything." Elliot wanted to say more, but he couldn't get the words out. "You… you…" He dropped his eyes to her lips, so lush, so inviting. There was a way he could make her know how special and perfect she was.

Trembling from his smoldering gaze, Olivia blushed at his curt statement. "El…" Before she could continue he had closed the gap between them, mouth slanting over hers.

This was it, the moment both of them had dreamed, fantasized, and prayed for finally happening. Neither could believe it, the invigorating warmth coursing through them, the electric shock from their moving lips, the intense heat pooling in their lower abdomens.

It seemed to go on for hours, neither willing to stop. Neither wanting it to stop.

 **A/N: Well, I wasn't initially going to give you that ending but what the hell? Did you like my last minute decision?**

 **Who here loves Mommy Olivia?**

 **Hope ya'll found the fight with Brian plausible. A note, he is not a batterer – just a guy who lost his temper. Still bad though, but I wanted to make the distinction.**

 **Anyway, the aftermath of El and Liv's first kiss and much more, next time on Return to You.**

 **Be sure to review :)**

 **God Bless**

 **Alex**


	5. Chapter 5: Reconnection

**A/N: Hey everyone. I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving :)**

 **I wanted to publish this Wednesday but there were delays. Anyway, this is the moment you've been waiting for.**

 **Disclaimer: If this isn't the show, then I do not own it.**

 **Enjoy and review :)**

Chapter 5: Reconnection

Sweat drenched his forehead in a salty sheen, the stickiness giving Elliot a feeling of filthiness. Having spent nearly two years without anything more than a bucket of stagnant water once a month however, he wasn't complaining about that.

The fire searing his muscles on the other hand… "Son of a bitch," he ground out between gritted teeth. Arms straightened as he brought his flat back up. "Not sure. I can. Keep. Doing it." His words were paused by panting breaths.

"Elliot Stabler wussing out?" quipped Olivia with a smirk gracing her face – inside though she felt a knife plunging into her heart. Her Elliot had always been the epitome of strength, able to take down perps double his size and protect her from harm. The last two weeks since his return had been spent getting him back into shape. It was arduous, but he was getting there. Her feet rested on his back from her perch on the couch. "Twenty-two out of twenty-five."

A strangled whimper leaving his throat, Elliot endured yet another machine gun smacking of stabbing pain. Up. Down. "Motherfucker."

"Just two more El," she said lovingly. "For me El."

How could he say no to that? Snarling, somehow Elliot found the remaining strength within him – the two were completed in lightning speed. Elliot collapsed on the carpet of Olivia's apartment, rolling over onto his back as he heaved in and out violently. "Mother. Of. God."

"Hard to believe this was my tough partner." Olivia couldn't resist needling him – the banter allowed her to escape into the happier times of their relationship. With the day she had at the precinct, the fleeting moments of joy were a welcome relief.

Fatigue only clouding part of his brain, Elliot furrowed his brows. "You are going to pay for this Liv." Hands reached up to grab the bare feet resting on his chest.

Olivia was momentarily confused before her eyes widened. "El no!" Too late; his fingers were already ghosting down the soles of her feet. "El, stop, no, hehe." She burst into a gale of giggles, Elliot's tickles not letting up even as she squirmed and thrashed on the couch.

"Why?" he asked innocently. Fingers shifted to the space between her toes, wiggling the little digits and brushing against the skin.

"Ahhhhhhh!" Olivia's cackles increased in ardor, thrashing violently against the plush upholstery of the couch as Elliot found and assaulted one of her sensitive spots. Unwittingly, in her rushed attempt to stop the fusillade she rolled off the couch and onto him. Face to face.

Labored breaths drawing air into their lungs, decreasing in intensity as the two began to regain their composure, eyes locked on the other and never wavered in their gaze. Circuits clicked in Olivia's mind. Not knowing why – and at the same time knowing as well – she lowered her head and took his lips in hers. The pleasurable warmth that passed through her system passed through his lips into hers. Both let out a happy, content sigh.

Much as both had wondered over the years however, since their first kiss on the couch weeks before this was all they had really engaged in. Elliot's condition and their general – fear always stopped them. But the fire, this one a heated soothing rather than the biting flame, that coursed through Elliot always made his touch linger, kisses increase in ardor. He finally returned to Olivia Benson, and maybe, just maybe…

The warbling chime of the doorbell broke them apart suddenly, Olivia's head jerking back.

"Um, Liv," Elliot winced, now aware of a slight problem manifesting itself underneath his sweatpants – one of the side effects of always being close to Olivia. "I think you should get that."

Face burning from the rush of blood to her cheek, Olivia nodded. "I think so too." What was it about Elliot that turned her into a shy teenager when she was near him? Olivia figured that was one of life's questions she would never truly answer.

Having returned from work only an hour before – contentment filled her at being able to come home to an occupied apartment rather than an empty one thanks to Elliot staying there – Olivia still wore her grey-button down blouse and dark blue jeans being a sergeant entailed her to. Smoothening her front, Olivia kept an errant hand on the gun resting on her endtable as she opened the door.

In the hallway stood a clean cut man in the classic black suit of a federal official – almost cliché from the movies. "Good afternoon Sergeant Benson. I was told by a Miss Kathleen Stabler that Elliot Stabler was living here."

Olivia nodded. "And who may you be?" Decades of cop instincts left her inherently paranoid.

Such feelings were not unnoticed by the man. "Don't worry ma'am, I'm Marcus Harlan, Central Intelligence Agency. I'm Stabler's boss."

"Mark?" The tone from behind her indicated recognition. Olivia allowed herself to relax.

"Hey Elliot," he answered with a sad smile. Olivia letting him in, Harlan immediately took Elliot's hand in a firm shake. "You're looking better. Much better in fact."

Elliot smiled. "Yeah. I've had the best physical trainer in New York." His glinting blue eyes caused another blush to spread on Olivia's face. 'Damn him and his eyes,' she thought with a smirk. His face grew serious though. "I thought I had two months leave?"

"You do Elliot. Jesus, you've earned every bit of those and the promotion at Langley. That's not why I'm here though." A hand rose to clasp Elliot on the shoulder. "I'm just letting you know that you have been put up for the Distinguished Intelligence Cross."

Brow rising in puzzlement, Olivia spoke up. "Is that big?"

"Big?" Harlan chuckled. "It's the Medal of Honor of intelligence work. Elliot earned it for his strength, not breaking, the escape attempt…"

"Escape attempt?" Olivia felt her heart thumping out of her chest as those two words.

Suddenly, Elliot shook his head. "I… I can't…" He broke for the bedroom, a panicked frown gracing his face.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

Having bade goodbye to Harlan, Olivia stood silently in front of the bedroom door. Since the first night both her and El had just abandoned the pretense of personal space – he slept in her bed with her, both of them falling into a nightmareless sleep for the first time in years. Life was too short.

Her mind drifted to what Harlan said over the escape, the reason Elliot won his medal.

" _He needs to tell you himself, but make no mistake Miss Benson. Elliot… any lesser man would have broken in that hellhole. Any lesser connection to the world would have led to a certain suicide. For him… the depth of care he has for you is the strongest I've ever seen._

Olivia sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. He cared about her so much and she hated him during that time. While she knew that she didn't deserve him, Olivia vowed that as long as he needed her she would be there.

Raising her knuckles, she rapped softly on the white-painted wood of the bedroom door. "El, may I come in?"

The response was faint, but she could hear it all the same. "Come in Liv." Twisting the knob, Olivia eased the door open to find him perched on the edge of her bed. His arms hung limply in his lap – a haunted look rimmed his bloodshot eyes. 'He cried?' The ice pick dug its way back into her heart. "I'm sure you want answers Olivia."

Sitting close to him, setting a comforting hand on the small of his back, Olivia blinked at the bloodless tone of his voice. She knew what that was, having heard it from him after countless cases – always the most brutal ones, children, sadists, gruesome murders. "You don't have to if you don't want to." After all that happened Olivia wouldn't stand for hurting him any further.

Elliot shook his head. "No, you have to know." Sucking a deep breath into his lungs, he clasped her hand within his trembling one, drawing inner strength from her. "It was the summer of 2013," he began.

Olivia tensed immediately – the summer Lewis abducted her.

"My captor, is name was Muhammad. Now, Johnny Jihad as a whole is a pretty sadistic bunch, but this guy…" He shook his head, chuckling grimly. "This guy was sick. He loved playing mind games with everyone – his men, his enemies, no distinction mattered to him." Olivia nodded. Lewis had been the same way. "His torture… it was always one of two things. If he approached with a second man, it would be physical. If alone, it would be mental."

Wordlessly, Olivia hugged him to her. Going through all of this… without her to be there for him. 'Oh El.'

"One day that summer he came alone, a smug smirk on his face. He was almost giddy, plastering a printed online article of the _New York Post_ in my face." He grimaced, remembering the headline. "It was of your… your… your kidnapping, ten days after the fact – though the article was from the day after you were abducted. Muhammad knew of my dedication to you, because the only thing me let me keep was your photograph. I had it to give me strength."

Gasping, Olivia held him tighter, feeling her eyes water. She hated herself even more.

The bloodless tone still present, Elliot continued. "Anyways, he cheerily remarked you were in a rape induced coma, enjoying the pain he was inflicting."

"He lied," Olivia interrupted, as much a question as a statement. "Lewis didn't rape me El, you have to know that." She knew he needed to hear the truth.

"I know Olivia, but how was I supposed to know. All I knew was you needed me – and that was that. Come nightfall…" He gritted his teeth at the memory. I escaped, killing five guards in the process. They found me the next day. The pain… it was excruciating."

Clutching his shirt, fingers digging as tightly as they could, Olivia couldn't hold the sobs flowing out of her lids. All of what Elliot went through, all of his suffering he endured for her – all for her.

"Shhhh Liv, shhhh," Elliot whispered hoarsely, hand stroking the back of her neck. Even in his heartbreak her soft skin sent electric tingles through his system. "It's ok, it's ok." Tearstains marred his cheeks as well.

Olivia shook her head against his chest. "No El." She had to tell him, confess the truth as he did. "When I was with Lewis…" A hiccup paused her confession, painful memories dredging themselves from the recesses of her mind. Such had happened before, usually leading to anxiety or flashbacks. None happened while she was in Elliot's arms. They brought Olivia a level of comfort banishing the pain away – and heaping more guilt and sadness onto her in a brutal catch 22. "All that kept me going was you, El. Your smile, your eyes, your touch…" she choked out between sobs. "That was everything that kept me going, kept me fighting."

"As you were for me," Elliot breathed, pulling back to gaze into her eyes. He wanted to tell her, let her know how sorry he was from the bottom of his heart. But, but, all he could think about at that moment was – despite her despondency – her radiant beauty. She was so beautiful.

One look at his handsome face, pained yet still as striking as ever, killed the confession waiting on Olivia's tongue. He took her breath away.

Moving simultaneously, lips met in a passionate kiss. Their tears mixed together at their conjoined mouths, no barriers being left as they explored each other. Expressed their long hidden love.

Olivia let out a throaty moan as Elliot's tongue stroked over hers. In the haze of love and lust, a moment of clarity dawned on her mind. This was far different, a shift from their earlier kisses. The others contained a promise. These were the real deal.

"I love you Olivia Benson," she heard him whisper into her mouth. From their joined hands Olivia felt his trembles.

Soon they were joined by hers. "I love you too Elliot Stabler."

Clutching tighter to the other – as if that were possible – Elliot thanked the Lord above that they were sitting at the edge of the bed. Not breaking the kiss, he nudged her gently onto her back, shrouding her body with his. Puffs of air inhaled and exhaled through their nostrils at a frenzied pace. None were willing to break their connection, their very lives depending on it.

Eventually however they had no choice. Olivia whimpered at the loss of connection – replaced with a purr once Elliot latched onto the graceful arch of her neck. She had never once engaged in this act since Lewis, the feel of anyone's fingers on hers releasing the memories of that monster from the confines of her mind she had shoved them into. Elliot's touch… Elliot's lips… they didn't draw forth the thoughts. The fire and lightning left in their wake banished them, as the sun would darkness. Olivia felt healed, as if his passions slowly healed her.

She wanted him, all of him. "El. Please."

Nibbling a bright red mark on the tanned skin, Elliot drew back at the soft words leaving Olivia's mouth. His breath hitched at the sight. Brown hair splayed on the cream bedding around her head like a halo, Olivia's skin was flushed a pale red, chest heaving slightly at the pace of their activities. "An angel."

From the almost inaudible tone Olivia figured he thought he was only thinking it. The modest blush colored her cheeks even still. "I want you El."

The words passed through him like a livewire, but Elliot would be remiss to let Olivia do something she might later regret. Such was the depths of his love for her. "Liv," he cupped her cheek. A warm feeling pooled in his heart as she nuzzled her cheek into his palm. "Are you…"

Knowing exactly what he was doing, Olivia silenced him with an abrupt shake of her head. "I've loved you for so long Elliot. Don't make me wait any longer." Arms snaked together to loop around his neck. Olivia pulled him so that their lips were nearly touching. "Make love to me Elliot. Prove to me that this isn't some dream."

Almost from the moment her words had left her lips Elliot had slanted them with his own. Tendrils of the most wonderful nature shot through her, Olivia's hands feverishly working their way down to grip the hem of his shirt. "Off," she mumbled. "Off." He enthusiastically complied, the cotton fabric soon making their way to the carpet – Olivia couldn't be bothered to care where.

Ghosting along the planes of his chest, Olivia felt an inner sadness. The hard planes of muscle no longer existed. The atrophied state of her love only served as a reminder of the hell he had been through, the mere thought setting her blood to boil. However, he was here – with her. That was all that mattered as their kisses grew needier, increasing in their ardor.

Fingers slid over cloth and buttons as Elliot removed her shirt, the honey-colored skin of her stomach and chest appearing in view. He gulped. She was so beautiful – her black lace bra contrasted well with her skin, but it had to come off.

Lost in the bliss of his touch and his lips, Olivia didn't realize what Elliot was doing until her bra was well over her shoulders. She tensed as the painful secrets of her ordeal left their shroud and exposed themselves to her love.

Sensing her gasp, Elliot soon caught sight of what she so desperately tried to hide. Rounded burn scars dotted her breasts, marks of the sadistic evil that was William Lewis. 'Oh Liv.' Pulling back to rest on his knees, a comforting hand rubbed her stomach, taking in the smooth skin. His heart clenched at the look of horror on her face.

However, Elliot didn't know what caused the horror to cross her features. 'El, my El.' Having pulled away, Olivia could now see what marred the once majestic muscles and skin. Scars, dozens of them. Burns, cuts, whippings, the remnants of bruises both fist and rod-made – two years of torture. A majority having been acquired from trying to escape.

Trying to get back to her.

Needing him, needing to show him all the love he deserved, Olivia pulled him violently to her. Their clothes practically melted underneath their touches, positions changed more than once as they battled in the needy dance.

"Beautiful," Elliot whispered, his mouth suctioned to a chocolate nipple. "Beautiful in every way."

Olivia gasped, lighting coursing through her as he feasted upon her. "Please baby, don't make me wait." She felt her entire life was waiting for this moment – the moment her soul finally completed itself. Finding its twin, its missing half.

Unable to wait any longer, Elliot reached to grasp his hardened length. "I love you Olivia," he cooed, lining up at her entrance.

A gasp left her as he pushed all the way in. "I, gah, I love you too Elliot." All her pain then disappeared in a wave of utter bliss.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

Feeling her exhilaration fade as the minutes ticked by, Olivia buried her face in the warm planes of Elliot's chest. The familiar and beloved scent called to her – and broke her composure. "I'm so sorry El."

Elliot's skin burned with the heated liquid falling from Olivia's lids. A hand drifted to stroke her bare back. Her skin shot bolts of electricity into his fingers. "Shhhh, baby, shhhh." Any hint of sadness from her broke his heart.

"I hated you El," she choked out between violent sobs, shuddering through her trembling body. "I hated you for leaving, and I hate myself for feeling that way." Olivia wanted to die, wanted to die for ever believing such evil of the man she adored.

"No." His grip on her tightened, skin pressing against skin as Elliot squeezed her as close to him as he could. The mere thought of her leaving his embrace was the most deadly poison. "I was a coward Liv. I should have gone to you, confided in you after the shooting. Instead…" He himself choked back a tear. "Instead I ran away like a coward and put you through hell. I am sorry. I'm the one who should hate himself."

His words only increased her tears. She melded to his form, soft kisses pressed against his skin.

There they laid, the pain and bile so long festering inside Olivia and Elliot finally flowing out – passing from their system in liquid rivulets. While far from their conceivable thoughts, nestled in each other's arms, both soulmates had begun the process of healing.

 **A/N: And so there we have it, El and Liv together for the first time.**

 **Only two chapters left in the story. What will the kids think? What of Noah? All will be answered.**

 **Be sure to review.**

 **God Bless**

 **Alex**


	6. Chapter 6: Return

**A/N: Greetings to everyone. Blessings onto all as Christmas approaches.**

 **This is the second to last chapter of this story as we wrap it up, but I have some exciting news. As a Christmas present to someone I care about very deeply, I will be writing an Xmas themed two shot about El and Liv. It will be published this weekend and I'd love to hear what ya'll think of it :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own SVU, but if NBC were to give me the best gift for Christmas… ;)**

 **Anyway, here is the morning after. Enjoy and please review.**

Chapter 6: Return

" _Wake up Detective Benson," the muted voice spoke. As if muffled by a sheen of glass, it registered as a faint one. But nothing could mask the malevolent edge that tinged the words – as if death himself spoke them._

 _Lids heavy, a fog shrouding Olivia's mind, it took several moments for her to lift them from her eyes. A soft questioning attempted to leave her lips but they wouldn't respond. Something was forcing them closed._

" _Ah, welcome back to the party."_

 _Suddenly the fog was lifted, clarity returning to Olivia – something she would have rather done without. Such clarity exposed reality, and that reality being one of the vilest character. Eyes focusing, this vileness manifested itself in the form of William Lewis, the man that had held her hostage for the past two days._

" _I went out to get us supplies." His demonic chuckle – said in a soft tone of a lover but barely hiding the sinister intent underneath – filled her ears as he lifted a bottle of vodka between his fingers. "Now we can continue where we left off." Her eyes snapped closed. Olivia willed anything into her mind to block out the coming pain._

 _Through her lids, a pulsing brightness changed the blackness into a vibrant red. Squinting, Olivia could make out the light that consumed Lewis. It shrouded him. Erasing him._

" _Olivia," a familiar voice said, almost ethereal._

 _Closing her eyes once more, the new voice swept a wave of calm through Olivia's system._

Olivia's lids fluttered open at that moment, disoriented from the rather strange dream still forefront in her mind. The beginning had been familiar, one of the many that had wracked her since the terrible days at Lewis' mercy. Still acclimating to wakefulness, Olivia was puzzled as to the latter part. She had never seen the light before, and none of the nightmares ever resulted in a gradual escape from sleep.

At the first registering of the form directly to her front, everything became clear to Olivia. Resting on his side, face the epitome of peace, was a fully naked Elliot Stabler. His arm was drooped around her waist, holding her close to him as if the slightest distance would hurt him immensely. The touch send a warmth from his palm to her entire form.

Watching him from below, her head perched right on his chest as the rhythmic heartbeat performed its soothing drumming in her ear, Olivia couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips – or the little catch in her heart. For so long she had to deny her feelings for him. Not anymore.

Slowly easing her arm from underneath his embrace, Olivia reached forward to softly stroke his cheek. Just barely brushing it with her fingertips. The skin was rough, stubbly with unshaven pricks of salt and pepper hair – neither of them had time for pre-sleep hygiene rituals after all, she admitted with a blush at why. Olivia's index finger shifted along the deep stress lines. These were clearly from the ordeal he had suffered, that had done its best to kill him and his spirit. They marred what had been the most striking face she had ever seen.

To Olivia he was still the most handsome man in the universe. The man she loved with all her heart.

It was at that point she noticed his eyes softly fluttering open, revealing the radiant blue that often starred in her dreams. He was the light that banished the pain from the past, of this she was clear.

Met with the most stunning sight, Elliot felt his entire soul warm at Olivia Benson's smile. The pain and anguish of his life had all been worth it for leading him here, to this moment. "Morning," he croaked, voice still hoarse from sleep.

Not changing a single curve in her lips, Olivia leaned forward to press them against his. She would never get tired of kissing him. "Morning."

Mimicking her, he reached his hand to cup her cheek, instead stroking a line along the curve of her jaw to her chin. Olivia sighed at the touch, his fingers shooting sparks through her. "You are so beautiful Liv," he whispered, a catch in his throat. It was clear to her that he never expected to be this way with her. She felt the same. "I love you."

This man had the uncanny ability to make Olivia fall in love with him more each moment. "I love you too." She pulled herself to him, nuzzling his chest and inhaling his scent. "I love this," Olivia murmured. "I never want to sleep without you again." Lips began pressing soft kisses onto Elliot's chest. The need to be as close as humanly possible manifested itself within her. "I was lost without you." It was true.

Elliot felt hot tears blaze scalding trails down his cheeks. His arms wrapped themselves around her, tugging tightly on her silky skin. "It was like I couldn't breathe without you Liv. Only the need to come back to you kept me alive, kept me from laying down my life to the sweet release of death." He was surprised by his own eloquence – but he did spend two years planning exactly what to say to her if he came back. Something came to mind. "Liv… promise me…" He remembered the pain in her eyes as he told his story. She blamed herself and he knew it. "Promise that you won't blame yourself for what happened."

Olivia sighed – no matter the amount of time that had passed, their connection had never wavered. She and Elliot had always been in tune with one another, each understanding on a subconscious level what the other needed or wanted. 'And he is that selfless, always the Elliot Stabler I love and fell in love with.'

"El…" she began softly, apologetically.

She was cut off by two fingers gently pressing on her lips. God, it took all of Olivia's self-control not to suck them into her mouth – last night had ignited a fire deep within her that couldn't seem to be quenched.

"Don't Liv. I know what you're going to say and those words should never have to leave your lips." Hands guiding themselves to grasp her hips, with a yelp from her Elliot tugged her to straddle him. He stared into her brown eyes, struggling not to lose himself in their beauty. "We each blame ourselves for this Liv, I know that. Terrible things happened. Due to our love for the other we can't help but heap the blame onto ourselves."

Olivia bit her lip, knowing he was right. "I don't want you to be pained that way El." Even the briefest flicker of pain in those blue eyes absolutely shattered her.

Her unconditional love for him hit his very soul. She was amazing, truly one of a kind. "I don't want you to be pained either." Unable to resist the enchantment of Olivia Benson, Elliot wrapped a hand around the back of her head and brought her down to him, their lips colliding in a torrent of passion.

Moaning upon first contact, Olivia felt that familiar pull from between her legs. Years of lovers, countless sex acts had never been like this – never been so quick to arouse or powerful enough to render her speechless. Elliot was different though. Even after only one night together he could excite feelings she never knew existed.

Detaching, ego stroked at the way Olivia's cheeks were flushed, eyes hazy, and breathing erratic after only one kiss, Elliot began to kiss and lick a trail from the sensitive spot behind her ear to her ample chest. "Delicious. All mine Liv, mine."

"Yours," Olivia breathed, squirming at his expert tongue and touch. Each kiss, each lick, each nip send an electric shock to her core, reducing the proud Olivia Benson into a pile of aroused mush. No other had ever bothered to truly pleasure her, get to know her body as she would have to do theirs. But Elliot seemed to revel in it – enjoyed giving her pleasure. She loved him so.

Reaching the bronzed skin surrounding dusky nipples, Elliot's eyes saddened, despair filling him. There were the scars – those left by that monster. Ones to forever remind Olivia of him. She thought them ugly, eyesores that left her disgusting. Not to Elliot. "You're beautiful," Elliot whispered, gently kissing each of the round burn scars.

A tear fell from Olivia's eye at the choked words, the love in them evident. He found her beautiful. Each kiss reminded her of that pulsing light in her dream, the one that banished Lewis from her. Slowly, surely, Elliot was cleansing her soul of him and his malevolence.

Deciding it was time to shift course, Elliot smirked and wrapped his mouth around a dusky nipple, tongue shooting out to flick at the tip quickly and intently.

"Oh my God!" Olivia screamed at the first flick, biting her lip and clasping the back of his head with her hands. "Don't stop baby," she hissed. Fingers speared into greyed hair. "Take it El. Take me!" Suddenly she felt his fingers stroking up and down her slit. Olivia bucked in response, the teasing slowly killing her.

After hearing what she had moaned, Elliot knew he had to be inside her. "Jesus Liv, you are so wet." She was clearly ready for him. "Ready baby?"

"Yes! God yes!" Hips ground into his member, the feeling rippling through her. Olivia knew she could never deny Elliot Stabler anything. "Make love to me El."

Unable to resist her, Elliot aligned himself at her entrance and pushed in, growling at the tightness he found himself buried in. "Fuck beautiful. So fucking good."

Olivia's eyes rolled to the back of her head, the wholeness of Elliot's massive dick inside her and the lust-tinged profanity turning her on to no end. Wanting more, needing more, she lifted her hips almost completely out of him and slammed them down. The audible smack of skin on skin mixed with the joint groans of the two lovers.

"Uhh," Elliot ground out, Olivia's eagerness turning him on further – if that was even possible. Digging into her hips, his fingers left bruises as Elliot began slamming into her, holding her in place. His member glided in and out in a furious pace. Letting go of her luscious nipple with a pop, he watched in a hungered wonder as Olivia's breast's bounced above him. "God!"

Panting, Olivia bucked her hips and matched him thrust for thrust. Mewls rumbled from deep in her throat at the sensations Elliot was wakening inside her sensitive spots. Brian, Dean, Kurt, Nick, David, all were washed away by this man below her, Olivia able to feel him completely at last.

A moment of clarity penetrating the lusty frenzy overtaking both of them, Olivia reached down and perched her arms on Elliot's chest. Delicate fingers ghosted along the scars dotting, crisscrossing the strengthening muscles just beginning to acquire their former hardness. The meaning was clear to both. She loved him, all of him.

"I. Love. You," Elliot breathed before slamming once more into her, feeling the sweet release.

"I. Love. You. Too," Olivia ground out before she fell into the same oblivion.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

"Kids!" Elliot exclaimed, hugging each of them as they streamed inside. He hadn't seen all of them together in weeks – he missed them.

"Wow dad, you're looking much better," Maureen observed, shooting a thankful glance to Olivia over her shoulder at the door.

Olivia smiled back, nerves calming after nearly a day of biting fear. What if they didn't like her? What if they blamed her? What if the dinner they had prepared for ended up in some kind of stony silence? Once Lizzie and Dickie – both dashing in their West Point cadet uniforms – threw their arms around her in a tight embrace, little Eli wrapping his arms around her legs, the fears dissipated.

"There's something different here," Kathleen stated, the blonde tapping her index and middle fingers on the soft skin of her chin. "It's almost as if…" Suddenly her jaw dropped. "No. My. God. You two are together?"

Feeling heat pool in her cheeks, Olivia shrank slightly. She was certain a blush adorned her cheeks.

Such a reaction was a clear affirmative to Kathleen. "Eeeeee!" she squealed, more iconic of someone half a decade younger. Without warning she threw her arms about the both of them. "I'm so happy for you!"

"It's about time dad," Dickie grinned, him and his sister joining the group hug. "Right Liz?"

"Oh most definitely," Lizzie concurred. "We waited long enough for this."

Blinking, Olivia was shocked. "You… you're ok with this?"

"Well of course we are," Maureen said. "Aren't we munchkin?" The eldest Stabler girl bounced little Joshie in her arms.

Joshie giggled. "Wivvy, Wivvy!"

Too stunned at the near perfect development, Olivia could only help think that nothing better could ever happen to her. This was almost too good to be true.

"Stop acting so surprised Liv," Elliot chuckled, though beneath his calm, cocky façade lay a pit of churning apprehension. His kids' response to his next statement would be crucial. "You were always like a second mother to them, right kids?" The gale increased in tempo.

Only to immediately calm at the spate of acknowledgements from all of them. Even Eli, whose bond with the amazing brunette had begun the moment he was born. "Love you Mommy Livvy."

It took all of Olivia's strength not to cry at this. Wordlessly, she picked Eli up in her arms and squeezed him tightly. Ever since the case ending yesterday with the unknown baby, she had been thinking so much about motherhood, whether she'd be a good mother or one at all. That Elliot's kids all loved her as much as their father did filled her heart with reassurance and joy.

As it did Elliot, the former detective summoning the courage to do what he had agonized over since declaring his love for the beautiful Olivia Benson. "Liv, my kids love you, as do I. Since they are ok with all of this, then I think it's time we stop waiting. We've waited enough." All eyes trained on him, he reached into his pocket to the straining bulge no one had noticed. Out he pulled a small box.

Olivia's eyes widened as wide as they could. 'Was he?'

To gasps from his children – matched with huge grins – Elliot flicked open the box to reveal a glittering ring. "Olivia Benson, will you do…"

"Yes."

Thousands of things were going through Olivia's mind, but all intersected at one underlying fact – she wanted to be with Elliot forever. Had since first laying eyes on him all those years ago. All else mattered not. As he said, they had waited enough. She was sure for the first time of her life.

Elliot blinked. "Yes?"

"Yes?" echoed the kids, shocked at her lack of hesitation as well.

"Yes," Olivia repeated with the largest smile, leaping forward into Elliot's arms in a passionate kiss. Soon after, each of the ecstatic children pulled the happy couple into a massive hug.

One family.

 **A/N: Whooo! Bet you weren't expecting that at the end!**

 **One more chapter to go. Have to tie up a few loose ends. And now I'm off to a weekend of Star Wars! Cannot wait!**

 **Please review :)**


	7. Epilogue: Rebirth

**A/N: Hi everyone. Yet another story coming to an end. This chapter will be shorter than the others but only because it's more a wrapping up of loose ends.**

 **A thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing. I loved your thoughts and am glad you enjoyed everything :)**

 **I shall be making a change to my updating schedule. Instead of updating all stories at once I am hoping to finish off each story one at a time with an update a week. Next up I shall finish off the four remaining chapters of Prey and then continue with From the Ashes :)**

 **Disclaimer: I have no ownership of SVU.**

 **I also need to say this. The site is acting up where it doesn't display new reviews. I still get the notifications for them, so they come in.**

 **Enjoy and review. Thanks for reading :)**

Epilogue: Rebirth

Surrounded by the gossamer white of her dress and veil, the brunette could hardly recognize herself. Eyes glued to the mirror set in front of her, Sergeant Olivia Benson finally realized the odd emotion that had crossed her face.

Happiness.

Olivia Benson was truly, finally happy.

Brass doorknob rattling behind her, the aged hinges creaked as someone entered the private room. "Somebody missed his mommy," Kathleen stated, a bundle in her hands.

Almost immediately Olivia's face morphed into a raptured smile. Hands reached out toward the little boy, silently willing for him to come to her.

Laughing, the blonde set her soon to be baby brother into Olivia's arms. "There you go Noah, no need to fuss." She rather enjoyed the look on Olivia's face. Only three people could elicit it from her observations: Noah, Eli, and their father.

"My sweet baby," Olivia cooed, holding him tightly to her. "I love you so much." A soft kiss was placed on Noah's silky brown hair – ironically the same shade as Olivia's. "Thank you for bringing him," she said to Kathleen. "He lifts my spirits just by being here."

"Who am I to deny the blushing bride whatever she wants on her wedding day," Kathleen responded. Decked out in the gorgeous white gown, form-fitting along her curves, Olivia looked stunning. 'Dad will just die,' the blonde thought.

"Everyone's starting to get impatient," Maureen said from the doorway, a wriggling Joshie clutched in her arms. "Dad's a nervous wreck. I think he'll wear a rut through the floor from his pacing."

Olivia couldn't help the giggle that passed her lips. "You hear that Noah?" she whispered to her smiling son. "Daddy's missing us." She had fallen in love with this little angel the moment her, Nick, and Amanda found him in the hotel room two months before. An inner apprehension had permanently grafted to her after discussing fostering Noah – what if Elliot hadn't wanted a child not biologically his? But the way Elliot's eyes lit up at seeing him… he loved Noah as much as she did.

Popping his head through the door, Don Cragen smiled at the three ladies and two boys. "Are we ready girls?"

The two Stabler girls each shifting their eyes to Olivia, the brunette took a deep breath, eyes twinkling with joy. "Yes." 'Time to become Mrs. Olivia Stabler.' Even thinking it caused a wide smile to break out on her face,

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

Biceps straining from the weight, Elliot nevertheless managed to toss the two suitcases onto the second twin bed of their hotel room. "Not as young as I used to be," he joked, waiting for the inevitable comment from his new bride. "Liv, baby?" His words were met with silence.

Padding onto the balcony overlooking the serene Pacific, Elliot found his wife. She stared out to sea, hair whipped by the soft breeze and arms folded around her chest. Olivia sighed gently as she felt Elliot's hands encircle her waist. "Can you believe it El?"

"Believe what baby?" Elliot asked, dropping a kiss behind Olivia's ear.

His lips sending a shudder through her, Olivia leaned back into his chest. "This." She closed her eyes. "For years I dreamed of what this would be like."

A smile curled on Elliot's lips. "Me too gorgeous."

"And now it's finally happened. It's… so… so surreal." She opened her eyes, turning in Elliot's arms so she could face him. "I keep thinking that I'll wake up and this would just be some wonderful dream." Olivia's face fell against his chest. Nuzzling the hardened planes, she inhaled his intoxicating scent. "I couldn't bear if that was the case."

Firm fingers tilting her face up, Olivia gasped at Elliot's face – it was streaked with tears cascading down his cheek. "I know Liv, I know." Gently, he brought his lips to hers, capturing them in a sweet kiss.

The familiar pull in her abdomen registered to Olivia, immediately deepening the kiss as heat flared in her core. "I love you," she murmured into his mouth.

"God," groaned Elliot. His tongue battled hers, gliding over well-explored caverns. "I love you too. More than anything."

Suddenly breaking the kiss, a new need coursing through her, Olivia pulled him close. "Show me," she whispered, her voice low with desire. "Show me how much you love me El." A hot tongue traced the shell of his ear, terminating by sucking an earlobe into her mouth. Smirking, Olivia nibbled gently.

Elliot's hands drifted to her ass and heaved Olivia into his arms, a happy squeak coming from his beloved bride. He tossed her on the bed, crawling immediately over the giggling brunette. "You're mine Olivia Stabler."

Olivia shivered pleasurably. No matter how scared she was, heartbroken she was over the past, she was done. Olivia was done running. She was finally where she belonged. "I'm yours El, yours forever." With that, she pulled her husband to her, ready to make magic.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

Her husband resting a protective hand across her lower back, a visibly frazzled Kathleen burst into the hospital waiting room. The slight bump beneath her t-shirt was beginning to show – a second addition to the new generation of Stablers.

From the seat next to his older brother, Eli ran to hug Kathleen's leg. "Hi Katie," he beamed, happy to see his family all together.

Kathleen could see it wasn't just Eli who was excited to see her. "Ka-Ka, Ka-Ka." Little Noah writhed on Lizzie's lap, reaching for his big sister.

"Hi guys," she said warmly, taking a seat in between the twins. Both of them sat ramrod straight in their seats – just because they were on vacation from West Point didn't change the fact they were still cadets. "What did I miss?" While outwardly amiable for her little brothers and nephew, the panic in Kathleen's eyes was self-evident.

Lizzie shook her head. "Nothing since dad took Livvy inside. We've been waiting…" Her wrist rose as she glanced at her watch. "Six hours."

"Livvy was in a lot of pain," Dickie added, a hand running through his buzz-cut hair. The resemblance to his father was uncanny.

"Poor Olivia," breathed Kathleen.

The door choosing that moment to swing open, all six adults in the room nearly leapt from their seats. "Dad?" Maureen asked as Elliot entered the waiting room.

Clad in scrubs over his shirt, despite the fatigue from the seven hour ordeal Elliot wore the largest of grins on his face.

Dickie began with the question on everybody's mind. "Are Livvy and the…" Elliot and Olivia had been tight lipped about the gender, choosing to make it a surprise for everybody.

"Come on," Elliot responded simply.

Not a word passed amongst the assembled Stablers and husbands until Elliot reached his wife's hospital room. "Guys, I'd like you to meet…" He opened the heavy wooden door without once breaking his smile. "Julia Amanda Stabler."

"A girl!" Both twins said it at the same time, Lizzie excitedly and Dickie mutedly – it was obvious what each had been rooting for.

Before Elliot could continue, Olivia finished it for him. "And Marcus Donald Stabler."

"Twins!" came a chorus, Eli's lips matching his father's grin.

Perched in each of Olivia's arms, snuggled against her side, were two tiny forms. At the gentlest of movements their mother made, each stretched out and yawned simultaneously.

Watching the reactions of their family, Elliot shared a loving gaze with Olivia. Separated in the worst manner possible, their love for the other hadn't waned one bit.

Their return to the other, far from easy, was meant to be.

 **The End**

 **A/N: Well, I hope you liked it. I figured the brevity of the sections would have literary merit in the epilogue.**

 **So, El and Liv finally have their happy ending. Maureen and Kathleen married and having kids, Lizzie and Dickie soon to be Army officers, custody of Eli for the school year, raising Noah, and now twins. The Stabler family is finally whole, despite the hell both El and Liv have been through.**

 **Exactly as the show should have been.**

 **Thanks for reading.**

 **God Bless**

 **Alex**


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